Abandon Ship.

I still have hair. Oh well. But at least I have started doing some more work on my dissertation now. I think it will be a lot easier to work when I go home for the week and have less distractions.
This morning I helped to smash up some wardrobes, it was fun. I like smashing and building things, maybe I should have become a builder or something, haha.

Wish I Were You.

I don’t know if it is worrying that other than Dan I haven’t really spoken to another human being in over a week. I don’t know. I am having a strange day. On a plus side I have actually started some work. I must continue with it this evening, once I get going it is quite easy to do it’s just the actually getting started which is the difficult part. I need more self discipline.
Today is hair day

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

I haven’t updated for ages because I am at Dan’s house and being here makes me feel lethargic and unbothered, particularly on matters involving university work. I have had a good past week however, a lot has happened. We decided the way forward was to move to Stourbridge as soon as possible, but after an epic trip to the Black Country we suddenly decided that we can’t actually afford it after-all and so I shall be in Shifnal for the foreseeable future. I guess it is not the end of the world, I could still be living in Nottingham.

Also went on an unexpected trip to London which was nice, spent a lot of time being lost as the tube wasn’t running (it never is whenever I go there) but the hotel we stayed in was pretty spectacular. It had the huge kind of bed that you just sink into, and you looked past the scaffolding and used needles out the window you could see big Ben all illuminated in the distance. Went on a visit to the Tutankhamun exhibition, it really should be better advertised that he is not actually there, had there not been so many people around I swear I may have just broken down and cried when we entered what we presumed would be his tomb but was in fact the gift shop.

More trips are also planned for the future, early May we are going up to Glasgow for the weekend, late may I am off somewhere sunny with Helen and now we have just booked a week long trip to New York in June. Excitement! However due to the fact that nobody seems to want to employ me I am a little sure of how I am going to actually pay for these excursions.

I think I may get my hair cut later this week, I rarely get excited about these girly sorts of things however due to the fact that I haven’t had my mop battled against for almost 5 months and that my self esteem is currently somewhere in the pits of Sheol I am rather quite looking forward to this seemingly mundane event.

A Disclaimer to the Self

The first time I went to Cardiff was when I was 17. My friends Craig, Tiv, and Ben just turned up in Ben’s car at about 11pm on a Friday night. After going around for a bit not really knowing where to go someone said “why don’t we just drive to Cardiff or something” and so we did, slept in the car, walked around a bit the next day then drove back.
Things like that don’t happen anymore.

Clickety Clack.

My interview went well, I got offered a place which is dandy. I am really looking forward to it especially the week in a primary school. As much as I like tiny children I think anything more than a week with them and I would be starting to tear my hair out, it’s the persistent questions that get to me.
I am also one essay and half a dissertation down so I am feeling less pressure over that now. My notes are all written for the other half of the dissertation, I just need to write it up now. I think I shall spread it out over six days writing 1000 words a day to make it feel a bit easier, plus I will know I’m not sitting there for the next four hours so will concentrate a bit better, I hope anyway.
There are also only 3 more teaching weeks of University, it seems a bit crazy, and then it is May, the long awaited month! I plan on ringing a few estate agents on Tuesday morning to enquire about some houses and whether you can have dogs in them. It will be so good to be moving back home but actually having my own house, my house is not the easiest place to work in. Plus then I will be close to all my favourite people :]
After stressing so much the past week and a bit I plan on making this week a relaxing one. I have to get started on my Darwinism essay but there shall still be plenty of Mouldy and Skully time, hoorah!

Chain Me Free

I have an interview at Birmingham University for their PGCE course on Tuesday. I am scared. Partly due to the fact that it starts at 9:30 which means I am going to have to get up at a stupidly early time and won’t be able to sleep because I will be worried about missing my alarm (although I am surely my overly excited mother won’t allow me to over sleep.) I had some reading to do for it for a written exam, it made some sense but the article as a whole actually seemed pretty pointless so I don’t really know what the questions are going to be like. I shall just have to remain calm and remind myself that if I wasn’t capable then I wouldn’t have even got an interview.
Related to that is also the fact that I have been given a weeks work experience in RE at my old primary school, I spoke to my RE teacher on the phone the other day which was terrifying as I didn’t know how to address her. The idea of working under my former teachers (and sitting in the staff room!) for a week seems quite surreal. I hope it goes well though and luckily I am now a few years older than the pupils so it shouldn’t be a repeat of my work experience a few years ago.

Due to the fact that my interview is in Birmingham I get to go home to sleep for two nights! I think since before Christmas I have slept at home for less than about 10 nights which is pretty crazy considering in my first year of uni I used to go home every weekend and towards the summer term I would often go home Wednesday nights too. I do miss home comforts (such as actually having the radiators on) and I miss the whole manic atmosphere of my house but I don’t pine for it anymore like I used to. I think this might mean that I have actually grown up? Being in Brazil last summer may have helped things as I knew that there was no way I could possibly go home. But I just seem to have so many other things to think about and concentrate on now, there are more distractions, which is definitely a good thing. However I do sometimes have this horrible feeling in my tummy, kind of like I am worried that everyone at home will forget about me and I will feel like a guest the next time I go there. I know that this isn’t going to happen but there is still a small part which thinks “what if…”

Despite the stupid amount of work and the doubly stupid amount of stressing I have been doing recently (and I apologise to anyone who has felt the wrath of that) I am actually enjoying uni. I feel like I have finally settled in and made some really good friendships, which is typical of me to leave it until the last term but I know quite a lot of people who are staying next year and being in Birmingham I won’t be too far away. I shall make a conscious effort to stay in touch and visit regularly.

This morning Elodie text me to say that her and Greg had broken up, I am genuinely gutted for her as they really did seem like such a suited couple. Still not to sure on some of the finer details as Greg is being very vague towards her and not giving many answers. To be fair she can be quite possessive towards him, but isn’t everybody in a relationship possessive to some extend. She wasn’t excessively bad and I hate the way that he has turned things to sound like her fault, she really doesn’t deserve that at all. I just wish that I could go over to Minsk to see her and make sure she is ok. I have missed her more than I like to let on this year, as much as I get on with Helen we have a totally different friendship to the one which I have with Elodie.
Despite the fact that I am happy in my relationship the shock of their split has unnerved me a bit. There is always a part of me that feels I am not quite good enough, always a part of me that thinks that Dan could get someone else, I don’t know what it is. I think I have a lot of insecurities that I don’t really tell anyone about and when things like this happen it makes me think about them. But I guess that everyone has that? I hope that everyone has that anyway.